Warning: Depression!!!

You know, it's been a very very long time since I've posted anything, and there are various reasons behind it; some good, some bad, and some just born out of laziness. It's December (I know, hard to believe, time flies so fast), and it's nearing two, well actually three different anniversaries for me. The happy fun time one is near the end of the month, the 22nd to be accurate, that was my Rez day, and thinking back when i first entered SL, so much has changed and I realized that I'll never see SL for the first time ever again. The wonder and amazement, the thrill of something new and exciting, meeting new people, learning to create, most of all meeting one of my closest friends ever not more than three weeks into my explorations into SL (yeah I'm looking at you Raze ;p). She has known me the longest of anyone I've ever known in SL, she has been there with me through my ups and downs, put up with a lot of my whining, complaining, and just general being a pain in the ass (sometimes probably literally lol). So I want to say a very special thank you to you in particular hun, after all this time I honestly cannot imagine SL without ever having known you and I'll always be eternally grateful.

The other two anniversaries aren't quite as happy an joyful, the first one I want to mention, while it's sad, wasn't at all unexpected in a way. Back in 2008, the very end of the year, (December 31st to be particular) my grandmother passed away, the last living grandparent I had. It was the day before my birthday that it happened and it really hurt, but also, like I said, it wasn't unexpected. Grandma had been getting on in years, and the human species only lives for so long, and she had a long life with wonderful kids and even more wonderful grand kids, so while it was sad it was also a relief that she didn't have to go through anymore hospital visits and was able to somewhat slip away in the night so to speak.

There is one more reason why my grandmother's death was harder to take at the time, which leads to the third anniversary to bring up (if your easily upset, now is a good time to get a tissue). A few weeks prior to my grandma's passing, on December 9th, the woman that I had pledged my undying love to, had planned on spending the rest of my life with, had passed away from cancer. Those that know me well know that I've held on to it for good and bad for the past two years. It's lead me into the deepest pits of depression at times, causing me to loose focus in my school work, to abandon good and long time friends, even now those friendships hang by fragile threads. Tomorrow is the second year of her passing and only now have I finally been able to move on to a certain point, I still have good and wonderful friends to help me, a new love entering my life helping me to move on and be able to open up my heart again, which I honestly thought was going to be sealed away for good. I have wonderful pets that serve me faithfully and give me their love and support on a daily bases (yes I'm a Mistress, don't like it, get over it then).

Even now as I sit here typing I can feel tears of both sorrow and happiness, I lost someone very precious to me, and I will always hold her in my heart, but I also have someone to help me through my clouded thoughts at times serving as a rock to anchor myself to. Cathy I know I do not say it nearly often enough, but you mean the world to me, you have always known what to say to put a smile on my face, and I'll always cherish the second our paths crossed.

Thank you all for your continued support and care, your the best I could ask for, and far more than I deserve.

Love,
Thina Mistwood

What a night!

Wow, what a night, starting off with a Neko party (sponsored by yours truly) I had told Iz (a totally awesome woman, I can't even begin to tell you) that I would dance for them sometimes since they've been having a hell of a time keeping dancers. Well I didn't plan on making my re entry into Second Life dancing tonight, nor did I figure on being put front and center on the...errm...front and center pole either. Now between you and me I think it was a conspiracy between; Michael, Kresh, and my girl Cathy to get me naked on stage in front of probably the biggest crowd I had sen at Hidden Taboo.

At any rate, after that came an even more fun and interesting time. It was time to take my dolly Samm's soul, which she was giving to me on her own (yes I'm a vamp too, deal with it *giggles*). At any rate, Cathy and I had spent about an hour and a half to two hours preparing for the event, making sure everything was ready, right down to my clothing for the evening and some last minute retexturing in the dungeon. I honestly can't begin to say how beautiful the event was, not only the biting, but also that three, yes three of my girls were there in addition to Samm, to witness the event, sweet little Akilina, adorable Cathy, and lovely yet zany Mobat. It was so wonderful that if I'm not careful I'll start to repeat myself any second ;p

I wish I could right more on both events...but it is 10am and I've yet to sleep so time to curl up and pass out...ni ni all =^_^=

~hugz and kisses~

Thina

A New Look

I like change...often, as any that have seen my wardrobe can attest, so I figured it was high time to give this old place a new look along with a new perspective on things.

To put it plainly and bluntly, I love my girls, and I love my friends, and I love the work that I do in Second Life. It is these things that bring me back day after day, and minute after minute. Drama in Second Life is like an asshole...and excuses, everyone has one and they all stink (yes I know, it's really crude and in poor taste but it is also unfortunately accurate). My point is, drama is unavoidable no matter how you try, the trick is in how you deal with it, and the people you have by your side when it creeps it's nasty little head in, and I have been fortunate to be blessed with some of the bes friends anyone would have right to ask for, and not only my friends, but also my girls, they give me their support and strength when I need it with out question and always (or at least usually) with their complete trust in my judgement.

All my love to my girls, and to my friends, and a special one to a certain kitten, Kris

Thoughts on custom building

Hmm...where to start and still be fair...

Ok well first off, both Cathy (one of my girls) and I had been commissioned to build first one then a second house. Now to be fair, we both new the owner of the first house so both of us felt there would be little issues in building it and we were right, it went smoothly, he was patient, and pointed out things that we may have missed to fix, over all a very good experience. The second house however *shivers* was for one of his girls...well temporary girls anyway. At any rate, it started off relatively simple, a basement playroom, a first living floor and second bedroom floor with maybe a small dance area on the roof....that was when it was simple, but it all snowballed from there. Next thing we knew it was supposed to be four floors, a bigger dance floor and a playroom floating high in the air. To top it all off she was in a rather big rush, and we were both working frantically to finish it and keep her relatively happy.

At any rate, this has taught me, and reminded me that never again will I make anything custom without a firm plan in place as well as being able to take breaks without having to constantly have someone in my IM box begging me to finish quickly.

Ok that's my rant for today, next time I won't be so bitchy I promise ^^.

~Hugz and kisses and everything in between~

Thina

Far too long

Holy hell it's been way too long since I took the time to scribble a thought or two down, and so much has been going on that I wouldn't even know where to begin so best to say that I'm back, hopefully writing a little bit more once in a while when I can.

First thing I do want to say though is a hugenormous thank you to all of my wonderful friends and my wonderful girls. All of you combined are what make Second Life worth logging in to and I thank for each and every one of you.

There is one more thing I want to say, before drawing this short post to a close. I finally feel that I am making good on a promise I made nearly two years ago, I've spent a lot of time working in the back of my store, creating a charity area to sell random items and accept donations towards cancer research, and here again is where all my wonderful friends and my special girls come in to play, because they have been so supportive and helpful at every turn. They've always let me nag them and put up with my ramblings cause that's just how wonderful they all are.

I look forward to seeing all of you soon, and will do my best to add a note or two here every once in a while.

~Hugz and kisses, and everything in between~

Thina Mistwood

Thing's change over time

It has been far too long since I've posted again, mostly because a lot has happened, faced with the reality that Jessie cannot see me as her Mistress anymore, as well as me coming to terms with being a switch. However despite what at first was negative or sad, I am happy to say I was so totally wrong.

Jessie and I are still together, and to a certain extent she still is my little kitten, even if it is only once in a while or a limited fashion, I am always happy to be around her, and I don't need to have her on my leash to be happy, just to have her companionship. She will always hold a place in my heart, and I know I have a small home in hers, somewhere ^.~

It is also coming up on having owned Aki as my pet for a month, and what a month it has been, she is always a joy to see, and granted there have been a couple of rocky spots, and mostly overreactions by me, but I can confidently say that I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy all that I share with her...and the fact that her and Jessie play together...and sometimes bind each other and wait for me, just makes it even more enjoyable.

The biggest thing is me having to deal with being a switch, I prefer to spend my time as the Mistress, but I can't deny or hide the fact that I do also have some very strong submissive tenancies. I used to think that was a sign of weakness, that I didn't deserve to be a Mistress because of it, but over the last two weeks, being with Windrunner and her Queen, Jessie and Aki, other friends and playmates, I've finally not only accept the facts but have gotten to the point where I honestly don't care what others think of me, if they think I'm not Mistress material because I enjoy submitting as well, well that is just too bad, just means they are missing out on one hell of a ride ^.~

Well I will draw this post to a close here, and I hope to be able to share more soon.

~Hugz and kisses...and everything in between~

Thina

PS: Hi hi little kris =^.^=

The joy of being me...sometimes *giggles*

Okay so the title is a little self indulgent, and I know it's been a while since I've posted, and a lot has happened though this still may be a short post.

First off I want to say hello to the special few that continue to follow my writings and thoughts, I can be a bit weird sometimes I suppose, but seeing that people are actually reading always puts a smile on my face. I also know little Kris reads and I feel bad that myself and kitten haven't been around lately to visit her, but a lot has been going on with us and I know from reading her own blog she is no stranger to people getting busy in the world we call Second Life. Hopefully kitten and I, as well as my pony aki, will be able to visit soon and see her, so until then "HI KRIS!!!"

Alright moving on, I can safely say that I am truly fortunate, I have wonderful pets to keep me company, and wonderful friends that look out for me when I sometimes slip and am confused when it comes to my role as a Mistress...and the sometimes part comes in when I have to deal with people that think you can easily put a Mistress tag over your head and claim to be one, blindly charging in and closing off their mind when someone expresses concern for the way they do things, but ah well, such is life, and I have my friends and pets who are an incredibly interesting and intelligent group.

I do want to say that things with kitten continue to grow and improve, a few nights ago, I accepted a collar from her, showing her my love and trust of her, and allowing her to lock it, at first it was to satisfy some major submissive tendencies, but now, a few days later and thinking about it, it's more than that, it has a deeper meaning to me at least anyway, it represents me giving her my heart and my trust not just as my pet, but as my lover as well. She brings me such joy I can't even put it into the right words...if any such words exist that is. My other girls mean the world to me as well don't get me wrong, but kitten will always have my heart <3

Other Mistress' and Masters may think it silly to fall in love with their pet...well screw 'em my girls are more than just pets to me, they are each special in their own way, they all serve me with unwavering trust and devotion, and they each have a special place in my heart...ok kitten takes up most of that room, but they are all special and wonderful.

~Hugz and kisses...and everything in between~

Thina =^.^=

A new begining

Hmmm...I'm not sure how or even where to start, I know not long ago I had problems as a Mistress...my past submissive desires made me weak, not because I had them but because I would cave too easily, and it would put kitten in danger if I fell into the wrong hands as I've had happen in the past. Thankfully the last few days Miss Windrunner Constantine has helped mold me into the Domme that she and kitten see in me...and the one I know I am now. She has made sure I don't cave anymore and helped me build my confidence to the point where it doesn't matter to me what others think, all that matters are my girls...especially kitten. Miss Windrunner isn't the only one though, in one long nigh...err...morning, a very good friend, Lycra, talked with me, helped me think about a few things and what direction to go in. I know part of the problem regarding my submissive feelings is that I was always afraid that if i followed through on them I may not go back to being a Mistress...and I don't want that, because I know I would loose kitten as a result. Even aside from that though...I realized that no matter what, I still belong holding the leash instead of wearing the collar.

With all of that being said, yesterday was sort of a rebirth, almost overnight I went from being introverted to a point, even for a Domme, to suddenly just relaxing and taking things as they come and adapting to the situation as I need to. To start things off right I planned a little surprise for kitten, something that is normally out of character for me, I took her to sort of a bondage playground, since my personal dungeon isn't finished yet I've had to rely solely on my imagination, which was part of the problem since it would constantly give me headaches having to RP cold with nothing to give me inspiration...well other then kitten's twisted one ^.-

Okay no more side tracking, anyway, I took her there as a complete surprise as well as a reward for standing by me as I continue to learn. I know one of the things she wanted was just for me to play with her more, to not seem afraid around people and just 'use' her in a sense, when i pleased regardless of who was there (at least I'm nearly completely certain of that). I also know that she most likely never saw the trip coming, as I said until now it's very out of character, to take her to a public dungeon and use her with the possibility of anyone coming by and watching. Obviously I'm not going to tell you what I did to her...I'll leave that up to your imagination, but what I will say is that we both enjoyed it very much for various reasons.

I'll end things here, but look forward to more fun ^.-

~Hugz and kisses...and everything in between~

Thina

PS: Okay I'll share a pic of her in a little bit of bondage...enjoy ^.-

A Blah Day -.-

Ever have one of those days....you know the ones I'm talking about, your mad about something, but you don't know what it is so you just get madder because now your frustrated cause you can't figure out what your mad about or for what reasons. Well I just had one of those days, oh there were major ups to keep me from going totally insane, which I grants you is always just a sneeze away for me. The greatest part of the day I think would be when I had kitten in my lap later in the evening, sitting and talking like we do so often, learning more and more about each other...and what really got me going, got me happy and excited was when she told me that we spent a lot of time talking about what she wants, but we never talked about what I want *grins* the poor thing never saw it coming...and totally wasn't prepared for at least some of it. At any rate, we decided to take a stroll through my old limit card from when I was on the other end of the leash with a collar on my neck. We managed to find that a lot of our likes and dislikes, were very much the same, which nearly instantly opened up a host of ideas floating through my twisted little mind (I'd feel sorry for the poor dear, but it's too much fun to watch her squirm, and even more fun to make her blush though she always manages to pay me back for that one)

On the surface even I admit that it may seem like an odd relationship, like i give her too much freedom to wag her tongue *shivers at the thought and tries to concentrate again* but no matter what others see in how I handle her, there is never any question as to who is in charge. I give her freedom to be who she is because that is who I want her to be, no matter what I make her into, I still want her to be her. I constantly ask her how she is doing and what she is thinking, because I want to know what goes on in her head. Does that make me different? Probably not, I'm constantly meeting Mistress who treat their pets with great love and respect, what is different is that I don't shy away from showing it, so like I said maybe openly I am a little different than other owners, but at the end of the day, Kitten is mine, and we both know it, and there is never any reason to prove to anyone otherwise.

~Hugz and kisses~
Thina

Days go by

It's been a few days since my last post, I know in the beginning, when I first started this blog I planned on doing it often, but lately it seems either my energy is drained or nothing I want to say happens. I admit things have been a struggle at first, it's been a while since I carried the title of Mistress and have been slowing getting back to where I need to be. I know I've been causing kitten to worry about me because I was and to a certain degree am unsure of my abilities. I have gotten better, but there are still moments when I cave.

Late last night I had to give kitten a small punishment, nothing much, and certainly nothing unforgivable, but even then I was given reason to pause not because I was unsure of how to handle her punishment, but because we were joined by a friend who was throwing in what was most likely nothing more then suggestions but came off more as orders and I started to cave a little when I shouldn't have. Afterwards my friend and I had a brief chat in IMs and definitly not seeing eye to eye on punishment, she gives me the impression that you have to punish hard and severe right off so that there is not a repeat performance, I on the other hand have a gentler view I suppose. But the reason I am gentle in any punishment that I have to give to kitten is because I know what works, and it isn't harsh treatment or severe restrictions....besides I know she would love that ;) no what works for kitten is knowing she has disappointed me, and it's worse than any other punishment I could dish out.

Well as far as I'm concerned the incident of last night is in the past, and it's time to move forward, dwelling on things never helps, you just get through them when they happen and move on.

Until next time

~Hugz and kisses~
Thina

PS: A very special hello to little Kris, I know she checks in here, and a thank you as well that she follows along ^.-

A wonderful experience

The day has barely begun and already I've had the most wonderful time...though I could kick my silly self for not taking a picture of what I have to share. Both Jessie and I were in the Rubber Room playing with none other, the adorable little Kris' and as always it is a pure pleasure to see her, granted not near as happy as when I see my own Kitten's face but still, it always brightens my day to see her no matter how long it is. She is a very affectionate kitty and it's always a joy to not only see her, but to see her and my own kitty playing together, they look so cute together.

Seeing the two together made me think about where i am as far as being a Mistress, and what I want and expect from my pets...yes there are more then one, four to be precise...but no matter what Kitten will always be my number one pet, my little Kitten and I'll get rid of them all just to have her if I need to.

I would never say Kitten and I have had problems...far from it, it's been a constant stream of open communication as to what we want and desire, what is expected of me and of her. In the end she told me that all she really wants is to serve me faithfully, and with complete devotion, and to see me happy...what it seems I have a hard time communicating is that she already does, yes I have three other pets but she is the one I always am anxious to see.

We have both seen a great many things since coming to the Rubber Room, and to a point, I suppose that we both felt we needed to do it all and quickly to substantiate our relationship, but the reality is that though they are all things we would like to try, there is no hurry, it will happen when it does, and it will happen when I decide it to.

It seems everyday that goes by, I am more and more proud of my Kitten, despite what she may think I can always feel her devotion to me and I feel grow stronger with each day that passes, and I am constantly doing my best to be the Mistress she deserves.

~Hugz and kisses~
Thina

An overdue happy day

It's been a while since I've posted yet again, but after a certain period of time in one of my new favorite places, the Rubber Room, I simply had to write again. On several visits to RR Kitten (Jessie) and I have come across an adorable little latex clad kitty named Kris...ok not nearly as adorable as my Kitten but still, I always love seeing her and she is so well behaved and obedient, and very affectionate when she is given attention. Well that aside, Kris usually when I see her is nestled sweetly in another friends lap and I had my kitten on her knees in front of me, as i always do when we are there...she is just too adorable like that not to. At any rate, Rubbergirl, who had cute little Kris in her lap, left to do some shopping which would have left little Kris to roam around searching for attention (aren't all pets like that though). Well, since she was searching, I suggested that she sit next to Jessie which she eagerly did, especially after me petting her a little bit. For the next hour or so I was treated to the two cute kittens playing together in front of me and to be completely honest, it was so adorable that my heart just melted at the cuteness of it all.

Since Jessie suggested I check out the Rubber Room both her and I have met a long list of incredibly wonderful people both Dommes and subs, an I eagerly look forward to all of the adventures her and I may share.

Oh and here is a picture of the two cute kitties...with me barely in the background *giggles*

A new beginning

I know it's been a while, and I said I would expand on my feelings of my release...but after thinking about it, it isn't anyone's business but mine and Mystress' and I have no intention of this becoming a sob story, it is still painful but dragging it out will only make things harder so it is time, regardless of how i feel or how hard it is, to move on.

Many things have happened since my release, and I will talk about each in due time, the first was returning to a position where I am more fitting and comfortable and been handed the collar to a wonderful sub, one that is much better suited it would seem then I could have hoped to be. The second, which has happened last night, was joining the ranks of the Blood Evolutions Horde as a vampire, with my new pet at my side as my personal blood doll.

I should talk more on all of it, and I will, but I still have little energy to do so, though I will add a picture of me and my pet together, and I will continue again soon.

Thina

One of the saddest days of my life

Last night was without a doubt one of the saddest days in my life, either in rl or sl, and it was absolutely the worst day of my sl.

Through mostly my own actions, I have been released from my collar, I suppose a part of me saw it coming but that doesn't change how painful it is. I was unable to sleep at all last night, and am only barely able to function right now as I type. i feel like a terrible disappointment as a slave, I really did try hard, but deep down I'm too much of a free spirit, and much to dominant to serve anyone for more than a few weeks at best.

I really don't know what to say, it is still much too painful to even put the right words together. Mystress will always have a place in my heart, not once have I regretted being hers, but in the end I think there was just too much of a difference between us for it to last.

I will try to expand on all of this at a later time, hopefully when my head is clearer...well more so then it is now anyway.

Thina

Somebody Gag Me !!!

I don't know what my damage is, maybe it's the pressure I keep putting myself under with the school, club, and now the store. Or maybe because I keep trying to do it all alone, whatever the reason, because of it I keep opening my mouth and making things tense between Mystress and myself...or at least that is the impression I get anyway though I know she will tell me differently later. Every once in a while Mystress gives me a curfew, for my own well being so that I do not deprive myself of sleep, last night I has mentioned that it was hard to pull myself away as it seemed I have less and less time to myself to get things done that need to be finished. The email i received in response nearly made me fall out of bed, it was so cold in nature that for a brief moment I honestly believed she was releasing me, I panicked and signed into SL as fast as I could to try to get everything I didn't finish done. It seems every time I open my mouth I sound ungrateful when the opposite is really true, I could not, nor would I ever, wish for a better Mystress, there is nothing I wouldn't do for her, I want to be able to tell her my thoughts and feelings but it seems every time I do things just get worse...I honestly have no clue anymore to be honest, but whatever happens I'm not going to let her get away because of some stupid mistakes on my part.

Thina

Punishment

Well...it was bound to happen, and unfortunately it's happened more then I feel acceptable and yesterday was the latest, with my punishment being carried out tonight...and even that should have been taken care of last night but my inattention caused me to miss Mystress' orders right before she left.

Yesterday I had made what is in my eyes the worst mistake I ever could, and that was no greeting Mystress in a timely manner when she logged on, she waited for eight minutes before she came to me in my design studio and found me working, I had gotten so wrapped up in my projects that I completely missed that she had come on. I offered her no excuse as there was none to be given, and I am not the type to make them. Mystress was feeling lenient and was prepared to let it pass, after reading blog entries of a friend and her own girl she wants to make sure she is fair with me, though I already am well aware that I am extremely fortunate to be hers, and that she has been more fair to me then any I have come across. If not greeting her wasn't bad enough, only a few moments later she noticed that I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans...the fact that they are my favorite wasn't the issue, they are pretty cute, but in her presence I am required to wear skirts, and I was obviously not wearing one. I had been visiting a PG sim to learn more about building in Second Life and when I returned to my studio I had forgotten to change. Mystress had given me a little bit of money and ordered me to buy a skirt that would be allowable in a PG area which I did the second she left for the afternoon, unfortunately I missed her final command to remain nude in my studio for an hour and so did not complete that task.

To say that I was mortified by my actions is an understatement, the first two offences I was aware of, but I was not aware of the third until she told me of it tonight before she left for the evening. I could barely sleep last night because of the guilt that I had. During my own training, even though I was only punished once, i was taught that through a punishment my guilt will melt away, and my mind now makes that connection whenever I do something wrong. I had told Mystress of that one time which is why I believe she gave me a penance of sorts right before she left yesterday, to clear my mind so that I could move on, and like a fool I missed it. As a result Mystress had ordered me to hang from my frame nude for one hour, to make up for what I had done yesterday, as well as to write my thoughts both here and in an email to her.

Having put all of this down before me I feel a great weight lifted from me, it is true that doing this has made my guilt leave me, and I can approach tomorrow with a clear mind. Mystress, thank you for taking the time and patience to see to it that I not only serve you to the best of my abilities, but that my mind is also kept healthy and not broken. I am sorry for the mistakes that I have made, and will work even harder to ensure that they will not happen again...especially my mistake in not greeting you...twice is far too many times for that to happen.

~Hugz and kisses....from my frame~

Thina

My Submission...Pt 3

This seems to have a life all its own but as I said, for those that follow, and those of my friends that read, it is important, at least to me, that it is seen.

The chance meeting that I referred to last time was from the wonderful Alice, who would become the fourth person that I had met that would extend a hand in friendship to me. She had mentioned of a place in sl that, while it was a bit rougher, focusing on forced submission among other things, was home to a dear friend of hers that she wanted me to meet. After I had told her of how I had been treated at that particular club through IM while she was there and even afterwards, though I would not presume to say that I knew what her motives where, but I like to think that she wanted to help me, and in a distant way find a way to keep me safe.

Once the event at that club was over I had told her that I wanted to leave and if it was possible to meet her friend, which lucky me, it was indeed possible. So on that she teleported me to the land of Ombria, and introduced me to her friend Razeldine, who I nearly instantly became friends with. She was kind, gentle, and sympathetic to the troubles that up until that point I had been having. After spending a great deal of time talking to her, she had said that with her Master’s permission, she would like to take me on as a trainee, to teach me what I felt I needed to learn, and to give me her protection from any that would try to harm me again. I admit at first I was weary, I had already been through a lot and didn’t want a repeat performance, but for some reason I trusted her and agreed. Three incredibly long days passed afterwards without a word from her, and I admit my heart sank; I was ready to quit and turn my back on sl thinking that all that inhabited it were just out to manipulate my mind and feelings. It was that third day that I heard from Alice, that my new friend, and possible teacher, was not feeling well the day before which was why I had not heard from her, and that at the time she was on an alt. of course by now you know I am talking about my Mentor, Miss Sio, but at the time, it wasn’t just not feeling well that kept her from helping me but also her own Master, I felt incredibly hurt and it was time for a serious discussion between the two of us. After a long discussion between the two of us, and her explaining things much more clearly to me, I still had reservations at first, but she had been honest, and I felt compelled to at least give her a second chance to help me.

I can tell you now that it was one of the smartest things I had done so far, after that initial chaos, I had come to look at my Mentor as a big sister, she never once allowed any harm to come to me, she gave me her near full attention when I would pester her with odd questions of things I didn’t understand, and through it all became one of my closest friends. After meeting her, my life seemed to turn around, I became much happier, I had learned a great deal about what it means to submit to someone, and I also learned that submission is the greatest gift that I can give to someone, and that it should not be taken lightly.

Mentor, I am eternally grateful to you for everything you have done for me, and continue to do simply by remaining my friend and when necessary still even my teacher when I am unsure of things. I will always be grateful for Alice who wanted us to meet. And just as importantly I will always be grateful to Christine and Brianon, my friends, and my girls ^.-

This is where I draw closed the curtain on the early part of my journey, I have already shared how I met my Mystress, and how fortunate and grateful I am for her. I sincerely hope that if nothing else, you learned a little bit more about me, this started out being about y thoughts on my own submission but it seems in turned into my “second” life story, regardless, thank you for making it to the end of the first chapter with me, and I look forward to sharing the rest of my journey with you all.

~Hugz and kisses~

Thina Mistwood

My Submission...Pt 2

This seemed to go much longer then I planned so I thought I would split it up into two posts, so please read on and here my own story as well as my thoughts about my early journeys.       =^.^=

During my travels I had come across a club that…if it were not for the few restraining devices behind the rez are, you would never have known had anything to do with a BDSM theme (and no I’m not telling you the name of the place, I’m not exactly crazy about the owner anymore). When I went there it was virtually empty save for the owner dancing and she greeted me nicely and talked with me for a little while. She could tell by the way I carried myself that I was a submissive at heart, just by the way I would respond to her, always addressing her properly, but she still treated me kindly and even offered me her hand in friendship. We had talked a few times afterwards and one day decided to invite me into the club’s group and giving me a tag labeling me as a slave to the club, I was incredibly excited about it, I thought that maybe this nice woman would show me and teach me what I wanted to learn. Well, I was wrong before and I was wrong again, afterwards she treated me rather coldly, she never took advantage of me in a “physical” sense but the nice woman that I had met was gone and I decided to stay away for a while again, I did not leave sl though, I simply traveled around some more. Eventually I went to the same club again, only this time I saw two women dancing, and these two women treated me warmly and as a friend, those two were Christine and Brianon, the same two that would eventually become my students much later on as they explored their own submissive sides.

Not long after I had met the girls I stumbled into yet another club (again, no I’m not telling, and you’ll see why shortly). I suppose my own submissiveness was obvious to everyone around me as the owner of that club offered me a position at his club as a slave and promising to teach me what I needed to learn. Well for others the third time is the charm, for me apparently it is just another moment in a string of nightmares. I was locked in a cage immediately, granted for only five minutes, but for no other reason to show what I would expect if I disappointed any visitor. After I was allowed out I was told to sit on the bar and greet the visitors (which by the way, he never told me that my legs were inside of the bar and that I sat on it wrong…the sick fuck probably got some twisted enjoyment out of it) I was allowed to log into a tip jar an earn a little bit of money…a very little bit of money, I made one tip of a hundred lindens…out of that I was allowed to keep ten of it. That night taught me that above all else, most of the men in this world could not be trusted so I had formed a passionate hatred for any one of them that would cross my path. There was a brighter moment of the evening though, that night I had met a dancer there that was polite and though we do not talk much, is still a good friend, but there was another chance meeting that was even more important and had a much greater impact on me….

That’s the end of part two it seems, one more to go…you still with my ^.-

My Submission...Pt 1

Over the past month, ever since I had been collared by Mystress,  I have given a lot of thought about where I was before I even met my Mentor and how I am now, and the changes that have happened within me over the past three months since I had chosen this path, here seems a very good place to share my thoughts on it all.

So…if you will all indulge me, allow me to open up just a little bit and let some of you in on the thoughts that swim within my mind.

When I first came to sl I really didn’t know what I wanted, all I knew was that I would be able to be myself…the wonder of the internet I suppose…but even then I really didn’t know that either. I had spent so long hiding who I was that I suppose that I forgot over time. I had been off and on before Christmas last year, mostly wandering around, buying clothes and whatever else happened to pique my interest, randomly visiting some various BDSM club or other such hang out, still really unsure of what I wanted.

I had already been a Domme to a wonderful woman, and once the fates decided that we were never to be together I turned my back, swearing that I would not return to a position of power unless I had met another woman that could bring me back to it. I also knew I had a submissive side as well, my mind, in all its chaos has to very different personalities and my submissive side had never seen the light of day, so during my first journeys into sl, all I knew was that I had no interest in anything other than being submissive, to live a life that I had only seen from the other side of the glass.

When I first started, like I said, I didn’t know what I wanted, which made me easy prey early on. I had been taken advantage once by someone that claimed to show me what I needed to know, only to take advantage of me and use me for his own pleasures. Now some of you may be thinking, so what, it’s only a game it’s not real you’re not really being hurt or taken advantage of…well…bullshit. True there was no physical damage, but the human mind is a fragile organ, and mine even more by holding on to what few shreds of sanity I had then. After that I walked away from sl for almost two full months, I was afraid to return, I still did not know or understand the world itself and was afraid of being taken advantage of again, but for some bizarre reason (I think I’m a sucker for punishment personally) I decided to try again, and brave the world of sl, determined to learn more about my submissive side, to feel what it means to give yourself to someone.

Upon my return to sl, I avoided any place that resembled a school of any form designed to train subs, once bad experience at them was more than enough so I simply roamed around from club to club, all BDSM in theme, mostly to absorb the atmosphere and see what happened, and with any luck meet new people, hopefully nice ones.

This is where I am going to bring the first part to a close…and will continue on shortly ^^

First Fantastic Month

It’s the 14^th, and it’s two days after the fact, but things have been so busy lately that I haven’t had the chance to write again, so I apologize to all those who follow and read ^^.

On Monday, it was exactly one month since I was offered and accepted my collar from Mystress, and I can safely say that through the ups and downs (mostly, if not nearly all, ups) I have not regretted a single instant of my time as Mystress’ Kyttin. There honestly are no words in any language that can accurately describe how happy I am and have been over the past month. I owe a lot about who I have become to my Mentor, but even more to Mystress for continuing to build me up and help me work past my own insecurities and fears. She is always excited to see whatever it is I’m working on, even if I think it’s mundane or boring, and it’s always a joy when she wants to sit and watch my build something, like last night when she wanted m e to work on a full size model of a new undersea home. She has helped to fill a void in my own life that I didn’t even realize was there just by taking control of me, she gives me massive amounts of freedom to roam and play with my friends and at the end of the day, when I see my collar, I always know that I am safe and secure as hers, that I never need to worry about harm coming to me.

I wish I had a better way to express how I feel and have felt since accepting my collar, but all I can offer to my wonderful Mystress is how grateful I am to be hers, from the bottom of my heart Mystress, thank you.

~Hugz and kisses~

Thina

Latex Party at the Retreat!

WOW!!!

Last night was just too much fun ^^

It started off when Chris told me that our DJ for the night wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t come (which majorly sucked by the way cause she is totally awesome, but I hope she is feeling better). So after I heard that I was really starting to get worried, I mean you can’t have a party without a DJ, but I should have known better that Chris would be able to work things out for the best. It was completely last minute but she managed to line up an awesome live performer, who unfortunately only able to be there for the first half of the party, but it was completely awesome, I nearly fell off my dance pole a couple times from the tunes. Chris was also able to line up another DJ to finish off the night who also knew how to really burn things up (and had a totally sexy voice too ^.-) and managed to get all of this lined up literally minutes before the party started.

After all of that was taken care of and the party really started, there was no way in hell the fun was gonna stop, and the most awesome part of it all is that two of my bestest friends were able to show up which completely surprised me (and was the reason I finally tripped up and fell off the pole once they rezed in). All in all though, even with a small crowd we still managed to have a blast and now I can’t wait for next week’s party…Angels & Demons…god I can’t wait to see all sorts of horny people in the club ^.-

Until next time

~Hugz and kisses~

Thina

My Sis ^.^

Hey everyone, I just wanted to take the time to introduce you to my incredibly awesome sis. She is Helyn Spiritweaver, unfortunately rl doesn’t allow her to be on as much as she would like, but in the time I have known her, she has shown me how wonderful she is. She is kind and strong, and nearly always in control. She is like me and serves Mystress as well as a guardian to the school. She is also an elf…and the hottest one I’ve ever seen I might add, and she is constantly armed…just in case someone bothers me or Mystress for that matter.

I told you all of that, because today there was an unruly visitor to the gardens. One of the types that that believe they can do whatever they want. He instantly tried to lay claim to the training gardens, saying he was the new lord of the grounds and tried, unsuccessfully, to make Helyn submit to him. I was so proud that she was able to hold him off, but even I could sense the growing uneasiness in her voice, she was left with no other recourse but to call for aide from a Master of one of her girls, she was also forced to call on the aide of Sir Robert as well, since her methods were not scaring away our intruder, though as he was prepared to come to Helyn’s aide the rude visitor vanished before it was necessary.

Even though the episode was rough, sis handled it beautifully and to the best of her abilities, and I’m so very proud of her.

Before I bring this to a close I want to personally thank Sir Damien and Sir Robert for being available to help out, we both greatly appreciate it.

Hopefully next time I will have nothing but good things to say, but I’m glad I got to introduce you to my sister ^^

~Hugz and kisses~

Thina

Opening Night

Well I wanted to write last night, but I was so drained after the party and dealing with other matters that I didn’t have the energy, so it may be a day late, but here it is anyway =^.^=

As the title says, last night was the grand re-opening of the club, kicking it off with Neko party (like that’s a surprise, considering I am one ^^). We didn’t have a huge turnout, but despite that we still had an awesome time, we had some awesome tunes from a rockin’ DJ, I had two of my girls (Christine and Rose) dancing up on poles, along with myself of course, we even managed to get Chris’ Master to help us out as well. I admit it was a little sad for me that my own Mentor was not able to attend, but that is the way things go sometimes when RL pokes its head into our fun. Another one of my dear friends was unable to attend, but like I always say RL comes first and I know she would have been there if she was able to ^^.

Believe it or not the greatest thing for me was that Mystress was there, as always, to support me, wich means soooo much to me you can’t even imagine. I know she is not a big fan of the rock and metal tunes we had going on, she did listen to some, but the fact that she would put that aside to support me is fantastic, and it serves as a wonderful reminder of how lucky I am to be in her service. I was even happy when my sis showed up to serve as security, she doesn’t say much (and she was a little late) but she is always wonderfully to have around and she is a great help in protecting my girls if needed.

Well that’s all for today, the party was a blast and next week is our best in latex party so look forward to hearing about that one as well, until next time.

~Hugs and kisses~

Thina

My Girls

I’m sorry everyone, I’ve been so busy lately and I’ve wanted to talk about my girls, but with setting up the Training Gardens, and my club, there just simply hasn’t been the time to do so. So before I get into that please accept my apologies for being so tardy in my post and sharing with you all.

Ok, with that out of the way, on to my girls. It’s been a few weeks since their training had started, but they are fantastic and eager to learn, and are constantly making me proud with everything they do. I first met Christine and Brianon at a club where they danced that I used to frequent often, we had become good friends almost immediately and enjoy each other’s company whenever I would show up there and sometimes talk when we could through IM’s.  Well after a while, and out of the blue not long after I had been collared first Chris, and then Brianon both came to me seeking to learn and explore their submissive sides. To say I was surprised was a total understatement, I mean we had become good friends yes, but they were placing a large amount of trust in me, and I’ll be honest I was scared out of my panties (ok I can tell you right now that I use that phrase a lot so get used to it *giggles*). Regardless of how I felt about training, my Mentor, had complete confidence in my ability to teach them everything that she had taught me, and with that encouragement I asked and of course received permission from Mystress to take the two girls on as their Mentor and protector.

Right now it has been roughly two weeks since their training has begun and both have proven themselves to be excellent subs, with a passion to serve and please that nearly rivals my own, and….with minor exceptions for Chris *grins* constantly make me more and more proud in what they have learned and continue to show in their submission.

Because of these two wonderful girls, I now have my own club up and running, and hopefully, after opening night, running much smoother. They also contribute all that they can to the school as well. Not only am I proud to be their Mentor, but equally if not more so proud to be their friend.

Well that is all there is to say for now, hopefully there will be another update soon, as well as a picture to add of me and the girls later.

~Hugs and kisses~

Thina

The BDSM Awards

The BDSM Awards

Before it gets too late to talk about it, I want to drop a short note on the awards that I had mentioned earlier.

Last week on the 20^th there was a BDSM awards banquet at De Ville’s which is a BDSM club that, when I have the time, is where I am the hostess. At first I hadn’t planned on going, I’m usually not around at the time is was being given on the weekend…but…….i was nominated for a couple of awards so how could I not go, and what’s better is that Mystress escorted me to the banquet *pouts slightly* oh how I wish I would have taken a picture of the two of us, she looked gorgeous as usual and I wasn’t doing so bad either I must say. Anyway, I was nominated for the most well behaved slave and the best in latex award…I won the best in latex, and though I am incredibly happy that I did (I never win anything) I was a little disappointed that I didn’t win the most obedient slave award, but it was expected, I hadn’t had the chance to show up there in a while so the fact that I won anything is nothing short of amazing.

Anyway, I know it’s a much shorter note than usual, but there wasn’t a lot to the night and to be honest the best part was just being dressed in a nice gown and hanging on Mystress’ arm.

~Hugs and kisses~

Kyttin

Our Home

As I said yesterday, before I finally crashed on my keyboard, I’ve decided to add another post (aren’t you so lucky *wink*) and I want to share about the wonderful home the Mystress and I share.

*squeals excitedly* OH! Before I even get to that, after reading my post on our first meeting, Mystress added a link to my blog on her own, that means so much to me, and you have no idea. Right after she told me that I did the same for hers and Paladin’s blog, since I read it often now it seemed right to share it with all of you as well.

Ok now onto even more fun stuff. As I mentioned before, in my post about Mystress and I first meeting, we have our own home here in Second Life. Out of everything about the home, what makes it truly special is that Mystress had told me that I was the first one that she had ever shared a home with. It makes me feel special in so many ways it’s hard to even begin describing.

I had wanted to surprise Mystress with a plot of land, I didn’t really have a spot to call home, I couldn’t exactly live in my club, and I was hoping that she would share it with me. I had seen where she had lived and couldn’t imagine her wanting to share a home with me, especially so soon, it had only been roughly a week after all. Well thankfully I was incredibly wrong, not only did she want to share one with me, we spent a great deal of time finding just the right one that we could call home. The only request that I had was that the house have a room I could call my own and decorate with my own style, as Mystress and I have to very different looks that we enjoy, and she does enjoy my personal style, but to me she is to elegant and refined a woman to live in a home covered in dark and gothic BDSM styling. Well….after a long time in searching we finally stumbled upon a house that was beautifully designed and even had a separate room just for me and Mystress surprised me I admit when she bought it out right, I supposed I should have guessed that she would, but it meant even more to me that she did. Mystress did say that even though all I asked for was one room, she wanted a little bit of my own style to decorate our home as well…after all, it was our home, not just hers.

As I said the house is gorgeous and even more so now that it has our own touch to it, including a wonderful kitty perch that I love to lay on while Mystress watches me from her bench by the fountain in the yard. It also has Mystress’ favorite, a dance pole on the second floor in front of a wonderful couch so that she can watch me dance just for her, and afterwards we usually spend time just sitting on that same couch and cuddle, and talk for the longest times, simply enjoying each other’s company before she usually drifts off to bed and I go down and continue to work on projects just for her.

Well would you look at that, I seemed to have rambled on again….good *giggles* I love writing about my Mystress, and all the fun I have had and continue to have at her side. Please take a look at the picks below as well, it’s kind of a photo tour of our home and unless you are really good friends of ours it may be your only look into it *chuckles softly* don’t worry, I’m really not as big of a bitch as I act sometimes, Mystress, keep s me well behaved thankfully.

~Hugs and Kisses~

Kyttin

The Training Gardens

Ok, I keep saying I only want to do one or two posts a week but so many wonderful things keep happening that I can’t help it, I guess as a result all those who read these words are treated to them more often I suppose.

At any rate, now it’s time to get into the fun stuff *giggles*

Ok, so, not too long ago, I was given the great honor of having two special women placed under my care and protection so that they could not only explore their submissive sides, but so that they could also learn what it meant to submit to another. I will talk more about them later I promise (I know I keep saying that but I really will). Anyway, a few days ago, I had mentioned to my own Mentor that in addition to the two girls I was training, my Mystress had told me of another she wished for me to meet and befriend, and possibly Mentor myself, in addition to that, had a chance meeting of another girl who was seeking to learn as well, so within the span of just a few days I found myself in charge of training 4 girls. After she had heard all of that, she told me of a girl she had come across that she wanted me to meet as well, and quipped that perhaps I should start a school to help pass on my own training.

Well last night I had mentioned it to Mystress, and she thought it was a wonderful idea and offering her full support…but wait…there’s more and it gets even better. Today, she had told me that both her and Sir Robert had talked and decided to give the school a rather large portion of land to get started, saving me a lot of money in the process and followed that be selflessly spending a couple hours helping me prepare the land and Mystress even had a couple wonderful pieces to add already, when the land is all ready I will add some pictures so that everyone can see.

Not only do I already have wonderful help from Mystress and Sir Robert, but also from my wonderful girls, who are as anxious as I am to finish the school and are ready to be right there by my side to pass along everything we have learned about what it means to submit and the wonderful feeling that can come from it.

There is so much to say and never enough time to say it all, I wish there was but that’s the way the world works it seems. I will simply end this here, and I already know there will be more tomorrow, I can’t help it, I’m having way too much fun not to share it with everyone.

Meeting My Mystress

I was going to wait until Wednesday to write again, but after reading Mystress’ recounting of our meeting, I wanted to tell the story from my side, and share it with all of you, because it was such a wonderful time, and I couldn’t bare to keep it to myself.

The night she and I had met, I had been dancing in a club that I am usually at late at night, I am the hostess for the times when the club is not busy, mostly to greet stray visitors and welcome, and give a tour if they so wish, usually working for small (at best) tips. I was about to leave after having been there for about an hour without a single visitor and literally just as I was reaching to log out of my tip jar, in walked Mystress. Now to be fair, when she first rezzed in, I thought it would just be another “hello and welcome” and she would be off, I was used to it and didn’t expect anything more than a polite hello. To my surprise not only did Mystress stand and carry on a conversation with me, but sat down to continue it…as well as giving me the biggest tip I had ever received so she defiantly would always stand out if for nothing else then that. As we sat and talked for a while I was slowly becoming captivated by her, she was kind and intelligent, she wasn’t trying to get me naked and into my panties (well I suppose that may have been on her list of things to do when she saw me *giggles*) but she was also very refined and elegant, she had a glow about her that demanded respect without ever having to say it, and I was very sad when she had to leave, though not long before she did she offered me an opportunity to give her a private dance on a pole she had in her own home, that aside though, after meeting her, it was the first time I questioned my own loyalty to the woman that would collar me later that same night.

The following night Mystress had sent me an IM to say hello and to once again extend her offer to dance in her home, which I eagerly wanted to do, but was now the property of another, I know it was a disappointment to her, even though her response was only text I could feel it when I read it, I felt terrible inside and continued to question my devotion to the woman that would controlled me at the time.

Mystress and I had sent a few IM’s back and forth throughout the week, she was always friendly even though I could still feel the disappointment from her, even if she didn’t realize it was still there. Only a few days passed before obvious differences caused my Mistress at the time to release me from my collar. When I was released I didn’t know what to do or where to go, I turned to my own Mentor, who was always there for me throughout and after my training, her words helped, but something was missing and I saw that Mystress was on…so I gathered up what little strength I had left and sent her a message, she asked how my new Mistress was doing and how I was liking it…right away my own flood gates opened, I let everything flow out to this magnificent woman, and instead of casting me aside she sat, and she listened, she could hear how my heart ached and provided comfort and support to me. We spent a long time with me talking and her gently listening, learning more about me, and what makes me tick, and in a subtle way, after hearing my cries, was offering a new chance at happiness, not as an owner, not yet, but as a friend, and my heart melted at that instant.

Several days passed, with the two of us just talking, learning even more about each other, becoming more comfortable with each other, learning that in some ways were the same and in many others we were different. Finally the day came, when through cryptic sentences, and finally one flat out question by me, that she was offering me her collar, to belong to her, and to serve her with kindness, loyalty, devotion, and love. By the time she had offered it to me, I had thought long and hard about it, not wanting to rush in and be hurt again, knowing that she had other pets, and when she offered to me, I didn’t even blink, I accepted her collar, and gave her myself.

It has been just over a week since the collar was placed around my neck, along with my cuffs, and I have not regretted for a moment my decision to give myself to her. We have spent nights cuddling and talking for hours, nights where we would go shopping, even evenings attending a BDSM award banquet (which I will tell you about later *giggles*). I have spent nights dancing on a pole just for her in our private home (which I will also tell you about later…so much to say and so little room *giggles*) and talking to her about her day.

She truly is the most wonderful Mystress I have ever come across, she is not like others that I have met, she is kind and caring…but I wouldn’t want to see her bad side for anything…well…maybe all the shoes in the world but that is totally different. *giggles*

It seems I have rambled on, as I tend to do, Mystress I know you are reading this, and I am grateful to have you from wandering into the club that night, searching for something to do, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, and should anyone dare try to harm you, they will find out just how sharp this little Kyttins’ claws can be. (And to everyone else, yes that is exactly how you spell my nickname, I’m her little Kyttin :P)

Welcome everyone

I just wanted to say a special little hello to all of my friends. I am creating this blog because I spend a great deal of time in Second Life, and I have met some truly wonderful people that I am proud to call friend, and one I am even more proud to call Mystress. Yes my life in Second Life is the proud pet of my Mystress, she has her own blog and it inspired me to have a place to hold my own thoughts and share some of my adventures. I don't want to get too detailed here in a welcoming message but I will share more of myself and my Second Life with you in time. I will update here either when I can, or when it is appropriate. so check back once in a while and I hope to have many adventures to share with you all.