A new begining

Hmmm...I'm not sure how or even where to start, I know not long ago I had problems as a Mistress...my past submissive desires made me weak, not because I had them but because I would cave too easily, and it would put kitten in danger if I fell into the wrong hands as I've had happen in the past. Thankfully the last few days Miss Windrunner Constantine has helped mold me into the Domme that she and kitten see in me...and the one I know I am now. She has made sure I don't cave anymore and helped me build my confidence to the point where it doesn't matter to me what others think, all that matters are my girls...especially kitten. Miss Windrunner isn't the only one though, in one long nigh...err...morning, a very good friend, Lycra, talked with me, helped me think about a few things and what direction to go in. I know part of the problem regarding my submissive feelings is that I was always afraid that if i followed through on them I may not go back to being a Mistress...and I don't want that, because I know I would loose kitten as a result. Even aside from that though...I realized that no matter what, I still belong holding the leash instead of wearing the collar.

With all of that being said, yesterday was sort of a rebirth, almost overnight I went from being introverted to a point, even for a Domme, to suddenly just relaxing and taking things as they come and adapting to the situation as I need to. To start things off right I planned a little surprise for kitten, something that is normally out of character for me, I took her to sort of a bondage playground, since my personal dungeon isn't finished yet I've had to rely solely on my imagination, which was part of the problem since it would constantly give me headaches having to RP cold with nothing to give me inspiration...well other then kitten's twisted one ^.-

Okay no more side tracking, anyway, I took her there as a complete surprise as well as a reward for standing by me as I continue to learn. I know one of the things she wanted was just for me to play with her more, to not seem afraid around people and just 'use' her in a sense, when i pleased regardless of who was there (at least I'm nearly completely certain of that). I also know that she most likely never saw the trip coming, as I said until now it's very out of character, to take her to a public dungeon and use her with the possibility of anyone coming by and watching. Obviously I'm not going to tell you what I did to her...I'll leave that up to your imagination, but what I will say is that we both enjoyed it very much for various reasons.

I'll end things here, but look forward to more fun ^.-

~Hugz and kisses...and everything in between~

Thina

PS: Okay I'll share a pic of her in a little bit of bondage...enjoy ^.-

A Blah Day -.-

Ever have one of those days....you know the ones I'm talking about, your mad about something, but you don't know what it is so you just get madder because now your frustrated cause you can't figure out what your mad about or for what reasons. Well I just had one of those days, oh there were major ups to keep me from going totally insane, which I grants you is always just a sneeze away for me. The greatest part of the day I think would be when I had kitten in my lap later in the evening, sitting and talking like we do so often, learning more and more about each other...and what really got me going, got me happy and excited was when she told me that we spent a lot of time talking about what she wants, but we never talked about what I want *grins* the poor thing never saw it coming...and totally wasn't prepared for at least some of it. At any rate, we decided to take a stroll through my old limit card from when I was on the other end of the leash with a collar on my neck. We managed to find that a lot of our likes and dislikes, were very much the same, which nearly instantly opened up a host of ideas floating through my twisted little mind (I'd feel sorry for the poor dear, but it's too much fun to watch her squirm, and even more fun to make her blush though she always manages to pay me back for that one)

On the surface even I admit that it may seem like an odd relationship, like i give her too much freedom to wag her tongue *shivers at the thought and tries to concentrate again* but no matter what others see in how I handle her, there is never any question as to who is in charge. I give her freedom to be who she is because that is who I want her to be, no matter what I make her into, I still want her to be her. I constantly ask her how she is doing and what she is thinking, because I want to know what goes on in her head. Does that make me different? Probably not, I'm constantly meeting Mistress who treat their pets with great love and respect, what is different is that I don't shy away from showing it, so like I said maybe openly I am a little different than other owners, but at the end of the day, Kitten is mine, and we both know it, and there is never any reason to prove to anyone otherwise.

~Hugz and kisses~
Thina

Days go by

It's been a few days since my last post, I know in the beginning, when I first started this blog I planned on doing it often, but lately it seems either my energy is drained or nothing I want to say happens. I admit things have been a struggle at first, it's been a while since I carried the title of Mistress and have been slowing getting back to where I need to be. I know I've been causing kitten to worry about me because I was and to a certain degree am unsure of my abilities. I have gotten better, but there are still moments when I cave.

Late last night I had to give kitten a small punishment, nothing much, and certainly nothing unforgivable, but even then I was given reason to pause not because I was unsure of how to handle her punishment, but because we were joined by a friend who was throwing in what was most likely nothing more then suggestions but came off more as orders and I started to cave a little when I shouldn't have. Afterwards my friend and I had a brief chat in IMs and definitly not seeing eye to eye on punishment, she gives me the impression that you have to punish hard and severe right off so that there is not a repeat performance, I on the other hand have a gentler view I suppose. But the reason I am gentle in any punishment that I have to give to kitten is because I know what works, and it isn't harsh treatment or severe restrictions....besides I know she would love that ;) no what works for kitten is knowing she has disappointed me, and it's worse than any other punishment I could dish out.

Well as far as I'm concerned the incident of last night is in the past, and it's time to move forward, dwelling on things never helps, you just get through them when they happen and move on.

Until next time

~Hugz and kisses~
Thina

PS: A very special hello to little Kris, I know she checks in here, and a thank you as well that she follows along ^.-

A wonderful experience

The day has barely begun and already I've had the most wonderful time...though I could kick my silly self for not taking a picture of what I have to share. Both Jessie and I were in the Rubber Room playing with none other, the adorable little Kris' and as always it is a pure pleasure to see her, granted not near as happy as when I see my own Kitten's face but still, it always brightens my day to see her no matter how long it is. She is a very affectionate kitty and it's always a joy to not only see her, but to see her and my own kitty playing together, they look so cute together.

Seeing the two together made me think about where i am as far as being a Mistress, and what I want and expect from my pets...yes there are more then one, four to be precise...but no matter what Kitten will always be my number one pet, my little Kitten and I'll get rid of them all just to have her if I need to.

I would never say Kitten and I have had problems...far from it, it's been a constant stream of open communication as to what we want and desire, what is expected of me and of her. In the end she told me that all she really wants is to serve me faithfully, and with complete devotion, and to see me happy...what it seems I have a hard time communicating is that she already does, yes I have three other pets but she is the one I always am anxious to see.

We have both seen a great many things since coming to the Rubber Room, and to a point, I suppose that we both felt we needed to do it all and quickly to substantiate our relationship, but the reality is that though they are all things we would like to try, there is no hurry, it will happen when it does, and it will happen when I decide it to.

It seems everyday that goes by, I am more and more proud of my Kitten, despite what she may think I can always feel her devotion to me and I feel grow stronger with each day that passes, and I am constantly doing my best to be the Mistress she deserves.

~Hugz and kisses~
Thina

An overdue happy day

It's been a while since I've posted yet again, but after a certain period of time in one of my new favorite places, the Rubber Room, I simply had to write again. On several visits to RR Kitten (Jessie) and I have come across an adorable little latex clad kitty named Kris...ok not nearly as adorable as my Kitten but still, I always love seeing her and she is so well behaved and obedient, and very affectionate when she is given attention. Well that aside, Kris usually when I see her is nestled sweetly in another friends lap and I had my kitten on her knees in front of me, as i always do when we are there...she is just too adorable like that not to. At any rate, Rubbergirl, who had cute little Kris in her lap, left to do some shopping which would have left little Kris to roam around searching for attention (aren't all pets like that though). Well, since she was searching, I suggested that she sit next to Jessie which she eagerly did, especially after me petting her a little bit. For the next hour or so I was treated to the two cute kittens playing together in front of me and to be completely honest, it was so adorable that my heart just melted at the cuteness of it all.

Since Jessie suggested I check out the Rubber Room both her and I have met a long list of incredibly wonderful people both Dommes and subs, an I eagerly look forward to all of the adventures her and I may share.

Oh and here is a picture of the two cute kitties...with me barely in the background *giggles*

A new beginning

I know it's been a while, and I said I would expand on my feelings of my release...but after thinking about it, it isn't anyone's business but mine and Mystress' and I have no intention of this becoming a sob story, it is still painful but dragging it out will only make things harder so it is time, regardless of how i feel or how hard it is, to move on.

Many things have happened since my release, and I will talk about each in due time, the first was returning to a position where I am more fitting and comfortable and been handed the collar to a wonderful sub, one that is much better suited it would seem then I could have hoped to be. The second, which has happened last night, was joining the ranks of the Blood Evolutions Horde as a vampire, with my new pet at my side as my personal blood doll.

I should talk more on all of it, and I will, but I still have little energy to do so, though I will add a picture of me and my pet together, and I will continue again soon.

Thina

One of the saddest days of my life

Last night was without a doubt one of the saddest days in my life, either in rl or sl, and it was absolutely the worst day of my sl.

Through mostly my own actions, I have been released from my collar, I suppose a part of me saw it coming but that doesn't change how painful it is. I was unable to sleep at all last night, and am only barely able to function right now as I type. i feel like a terrible disappointment as a slave, I really did try hard, but deep down I'm too much of a free spirit, and much to dominant to serve anyone for more than a few weeks at best.

I really don't know what to say, it is still much too painful to even put the right words together. Mystress will always have a place in my heart, not once have I regretted being hers, but in the end I think there was just too much of a difference between us for it to last.

I will try to expand on all of this at a later time, hopefully when my head is clearer...well more so then it is now anyway.

Thina